Monday, November 28, 2011

Nothing like an ice cold Laimbeer

So as I write this, Judge Goodell hasn't yet given a verdict on the Stomp the Yard incident, but the consensus seems to be that we'll be Dom-less for at least the next 2 games. Which isn't exactly a Suhthing thought on the face of it, but then again it might not be so bad after all. For one thing, Dom has been nothing but a distraction all year long to this point. His stats (other than penalties) are way down from last year's all-pro numbers, partly due to his almost always being double-teamed, and partly due to a certain...I don't know what. He's been the third best D-lineman on the team to this point, being outplayed by Ol' Red Eyes and Heathcliff Huxtable Avril (Lawrence Jackson has more sacks than Suh as well), and the two week vacation may give him a chance to figure out how to...stop doin'...all that...STUFF. Furthermore, Dom's absence will challenge Fairley to step up and contribute, and provide an opportunity for Willie Young to continue doing his best Langston Moore impression week-in and week-out. This could be the kick in the pants that the DTLs need to finally put a complete game together, free of the Lennie Small-esque penalties that have plagued them all season, and really go out and stomp the New Orleans Saints on Sunday night. And if not, well then this season could head Suth rather quickly.

Compare and Contrast

Earlier this season, a lot of people (myself not necessarily included) dubbed this version of the DTL squad "the New Detroit Bad Boys". If I go ahead and humor this comparison to the "Final Countdown" Pistons teams of the late 80s, then Dom Suh is the Bill Laimbeer: team leader, poster child for dirty play, universally hated outside the city of Detroit. However, the more I thought about it, that analogy just doesn't really work for me. In fact, Dom is actually kind of the opposite of the man myself and Big Mitchy used to call "Bill Beerhead" while playing Tecmo Super NBA on Sega. By the way, Bill Laimbeer Combat Basketball is probably the worst video game that I've ever played.

Let's compare and contrast Bill and Dom.

Laimbeer- Slow footed and unathletic big man. Could barely jump, yet dominated the psyche of nearly everyone he matched up against.
Suh- 6-4, 300 lb athletic marvel, with a combination of strength and athleticism rarely seen at his position. Physical gifts could allow him to Dom-inate opposing offensive linemen for at least a decade.

Laimbeer- Undisputed dirtiest player in the NBA in his time. Wore #40 for Detroit.
Suh- Has quickly become the undisputed dirtiest player in the NFL. Wears #90 for Detroit, which kind of looks like an over-inflated 40.

Laimbeer- Picked fights with the likes of NBA legends Charles Barkley, Larry Bird, and Rog Parish.
Suh- Cheapshotted the likes of rookie Andy Dalton, washed-up Jake Delhomme, and Something Dietrich-Something of the Green Bay Packers.

Laimbeer- Seemed to get away with everything, timing his sneaky cheapshots when the refs weren't looking, then waiting for someone like Scottie Tip-in to retaliate and get caught.
Suh- Doesn't get away with anything. Has had his every move closely monitored by every ref in the league since his first preseason ravaging of Nearly-Headless Jake.

Laimbeer- The NBA eventually changed its rules shortly before his career ended. Finally, a few flagrant fouls were called due to the unsportsmanlike and un-thinking-feeling-humanlike physicality of Laimbeer and the Pistons.
Suh- The NFL abruptly changed its rules shortly before his career began to protect quarterbacks. In addition to Suh's penchant for beheadings, every time a fly sneezes on someone like Drew Brees these days, you can bet a roughing the passer flag will be thrown.

Laimbeer- Offered no apologies and seemed to relish his role as the Villain.
Suh- Still is in denial about being a dirty player, and is now pathetically begging Rog Goodell to like him.

Laimbeer- The Pistons always seemed to benefit from any on-court 'incidents' involving Laimbeer.
Suh- The on-field 'incidents' involving Suh have hurt the Lions each and every time.

Laimbeer- Helped the Pistons to two consecutive championships.
Suh- May have just cost his team two consecutive games and a playoff berth.

Laimbeer- As arrogant and boorish off the court as on it. According to legend, while waiting in line at a Harbor Springs sandwich shop, he once turned to some middle school girls and asked, "Don't you think people like me should be served before people like you?" As a Michael and Scottie fan growing up, Laimbeer was and remains the ogre that I love to hate.
Suh- Intelligent and soft-spoken when not in uniform,  I really want to like this guy. He's just making it extremely difficult for me right now.

Closing Thoughts

If Suh gets suspended by the Lions, does that mean that he has to sit out Omaha Steaks' next game too? Because that would really throw a damper into the playoff hopes of two football teams. Omaha Steaks is sitting at 5-4 right now, but they have a big road game next week against TheGeneral.com that could very well decide the final wild card spot in the Fake Commercial Football League (FCFL). After watching some highlights, I have to say that The General is the early favorite to win MVP honors in the FCFL this year. Wow.

See you Sunday everyone.


  1. suh is a good player but a bit overhyped, and delusional. Warren Sapp was a much higher standard.

  2. Agree with you on the first three points. As for Warren Sapp, I think we ought to let Dom play a few more years (if Goodell allows it) before we start comparing the careers of the two.

  3. I'll take the road less traveled on this and disagree with the each of the first three statements. Suh is a great player, not good (amazing combo of power and speed). One need only look at the positive externalities of having that monster on the line to confirm his greatness. I also don't think that he is overhyped one bit considering how decorated he was at Nebraska and how highly he is paid. Also, being delusional is really just part of being a great lineman...so wouldn't that make him lusional?

    On the topic of 'The Stomp', I feel Suh is getting a rotten deal here. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a clean game and have zero tolerance for dirty play. For example, I believe that William Gholston should have been banned for the season after his dirty, classless play against U of M. Thing is, I am not too convinced that Suh's play was dirty. I think, bottom line, that it was an unfortunate circumstance for the bottom of Suh's cleat to find an arm and not the sod that I am sure Suh was hoping to find. Sure, Suh should not be stomping in the first place, but don't all girlfriends stomp when you forget to bring them home chocolate or when you tell them that you will be watching the game with da boys instead of cuddling up to a token Ryan Gosling chick flick? And we still love them, don't we? Before anyone starts thinking that I should not be comparing Suh to a girlfriend, picture this: eating said chocolate/watching said RomCom is your girlfriend's livelihood on the line. I'll tell you one thing, I am definitely not putting my arm anywhere near her foot during these situations and there is no way in hell I would be standing between her and a box of Russell Stover's (not to mention attempting this stunt consecutive times). Which is why I think Suh, with his reckless abandon and intensity, is on to something here. He just needs to find the balance.

    Simply put, Suh's mistake was acting like a spoiled brat, not 'maliciously attacking' a man. Even though it was a man that had been attacking (and probably pinching, or teasing or something annoying) Suh all day.